Musical Identity

I’ve been into music since forever. I took drum lessons, then piano lessons, then guitar lessons – all within the span of two years. I never actually knew what I wanted. I still don’t really know. But I am a while lot closer to understanding what kind of music I want to make than I was before. I would like to think that those music lessons laid the foundation for my skill set now, but I feel like doing stuff on my own has gotten me to where I am now. And where I am is the beginning of the road. I have written songs, recorded them, threw them in the trash, and repeated. I don’t think that making those songs were a complete waste. You have to make bad stuff to make ok stuff, and you have to make ok stuff to make good stuff. I feel like I’m at the point to where the music I’m working on behind the scenes could be considered good. Not great, definitely not great. But I’m getting there, and the only reason why I think I’m moving so fast now is because I’m becoming more true to myself. Here’s what I mean. I feel like I can write sad songs pretty well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sad person, but whenever I encounter an emotion, I hold onto it for a bit too long, and in the past, I’ve been depressed by some series of unfortunate events for extended periods of time. During that time, I made music and videos to keep my mind off of it, but I was never able to detach myself from those emotions. Now that I’m able to label emotions as they come, I can distance myself from what I’m feeling to a better extent, allowing me to write about those feelings in a way that doesn’t drag me down with it. That’s why I think I can make pretty good music, because I can tell a story that I feel first, before telling people about it through a song. 

I can’t stand fakers, especially those who write about stories they’ve never actually lived themselves. I feel like when you’re more truthful about your storytelling, that authenticity really shows through in whatever piece you’re working on. 

That’s all I got for now. I don’t know if this is even a good post, I’m literally just allowing myself to free flow type this on my phone as I wait for pizza rolls to cook in the oven.


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